meraMD's Doctor Community

Fear spent growing years in relative scarcity is the prime factor in forcing us to always keep the foot on the gas-peddle. In formative years, having lived on 'half stomachs' (small cars or cramped apartments), we sprint and build stamina to run for longer distances without looking after what we require during the course in the marathon called life.

After missing our meals, running from clinic to clinic we feel like real successful and happening people. Some how we pride ourselves in having lesser and lesser time for ourselves. There is no 'standing-on-the podium' finish at the end but the detailed record of long lost youth, consumed family time and above all lost happy times. Leaving Gold and running after silver. No one deserts a doctor faster than his patients and patients fall in love with their new care giver in no time. We forget that the new patient has deserted another doctor. But this feeling that someone in need is liking us and is dependent on us makes us feel desirable. We want to do everything for that patient even if it means consuming personal or family time. We leave our loved ones to our friends to look after.

I have not seen many doctors accompanying their close relations to a clinic for an appointment. They are looking after someone else at that time. Time for yourself, family and children are gold and running after fickle silver is waste. The small pleasures of spending time with child during PTA or looking after unwell mother/ father are small pleasures which would appear big some years later. Will they be around when you are free after collecting nickels and precious stones. False sense of ownership Like little kids, we feel sorry for ourselves when we lose our patients due to lack of time.

So we have a sense of ownership on our patients that since we have done so much for them ,they should stick to us. They are buying service at a price from you. Leave them alone and have only detached love for them. Detachment is the key….running after patients is not running after material .satisfaction.. alone.. There is some element of truth and larger element of spiritual satisfaction in it. It gives you sense of satisfaction that you are wanted desired and loved by someone.

On the other side, patients are standing at the ticket counter and buying ticket to the new circus called health where doctors are ring masters (when disease is overwhelming) and jokers (after the work is over). We call this as christening to the religion called medicine. Patients call it getting chastised and most of us will surely get crucified, buried and forgotten.

Died at 30 and buried at 60 I have borrowed this line from 'Don't sweat the small stuff'. This line deeply affected me for some time. Medical Profession is patronized by hungry middle class. Patronied by students coming from families where working with heads down and pockets out is not a shame but way of life. 'Son-first-become-something' is what you hear everyday after achieving puberty.This cliché is always weighing on you the moment you waver .In medical college you are looking to become commercially successful and taking up a decent paying line to buy whatever is buyable and discard what ever has been sticking on to you.Most important is the tag of long years of mediocre life and anonymous existence and starts the process of branding.Branding yourself as doctor who has arrived.I personally feel there is nothing wrong in earning money but getting getting consumed by the process is not a done thing. To be contd...