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Suicide- a great motivating factor in my life in my late adolescence- to develop an inclination for clinical psychology , to take it as my profession- instead of more interesting parts of psychology that included just personality development and its growth and much more leaving my basic talent of writing or being a novelist or writer because I have a vision to have the blend of all three in one.

But actually, it was not just the blend motive behind it too choose as my most preferred profession but to prevent people from committing suicides to choose their end of ultimate life which though it is your own and you are the owner of it but you cannot revive it back for whatever you do. Sometimes the causes of committing this unnatural act of death or end is just a small unexpected fight which is too big, a kind of social rejection or sometimes many factors which keep on happening in that course of hurting one’s self esteem needs and expression of it is always unheard of or when denying the basic rights of individuality, where again you have to give up your own dreams to live up the expectations of your parents or communities by and large. Something similar happened that day. I went to the college with a new hope and new vision that day-when I could see my best friend Sapna was seeming very upset for some reason. I tried to probe into it and to my horror found to my horror that her best friend Aditi has committed suicide yesterday. I have heard a lot of Aditi from Sapna and I was hoping some day to meet her , somehow I developed an unknown attachment for her- and she was also one of my dream friend –though she existed one day back in the real world but actually never saw her even in photographs- only heard about her from my this best college friend whom I could develop some kind of affection in the initial college days of my graduation

Aditi’s stories was filled of gloom and desperation- she being the topper of her college in intermediate- and clearing the pre-medical exams - for MBBS- immediately after her intermediate was not allowed to join the course. She was already upset with it when her father finally declared about her marriage while she just stepped in 18 years of age as they could not go against their own community and for the sake of education they could not break those “norms” of society . It was not that she never raised her voice against these dogmatic norms but unfortunately it went to deaf ears. Finally, the day of her marriage arrived-she again tried to tell her mother-but in vain-again she gave a last try to speak to her father but again in vain. Though, she was trying to be as calm and composed as she could- going through all the ceremonies and rituals of marriage but could resist her inside tide of grief and submitted to it soon as she heard that groom and his family –the Groom procession- called as “Barat” has reached in the premises where the marriage has to take place. Now, she had left no hope in life, perhaps she thought that nobody cared for her or so, even her own parents acted like worst enemies and she consumed rat poison which she could easily access it.

This story of my would be friend or dream friend- a kind of unknown attachment –turned me into a calm revolutionary to campaign against this act of ending your gift of life and I immediately decided that I have to take up this profession now, which has got the larger meaning than just earning your livelihood with respect.


Suicide:

Then, I got to read in news of many suicides, sometimes committed by daughter-in-laws tired of the tortures by their in-laws family’s or sometimes by their own parents as in the above case. For most cases it was the high held expectations of their valued significant others-mostly their own parents- who tried to reject their children for some or the other reason. Many of them forcing marriage of their daughters-just to avoid their own responsibilities and then blaming the in-laws families for their own faults as most of these daughters had raised some kind of alarms to them but they failed to receive those signals. Many others High School students or intermediate students committed this act for not having enough scores in exams to satisfy their own parents or teachers-again fearing their rejection and isolation.

And there was another group -again not meeting the expectations of the parents and this ridiculous communities where the young adults could not marry of the spouses of their own choice as the authorities thought that they are more experienced to take decisions on their behalf as these young adults are not that as experienced as they themselves (at least these elders believed and behaved that way) and finally desperate for their approval and acceptance but going all attempts in vain-they tried to choose not to live rather than living for those who actually do not care for their needs but still call them as well wishers.

Recently, I encountered another reason for suicide and that was wife reprimanding her husband each day when he used to come home drunk and one day he could not just bear that “rejection” and took that step. Then I realized being a clinical psychologist is not enough to prevent it for most of the people are not going to contact even if you live nearby because they are actually again fearful of this brutal communities which try to label them as something like being “good for nothing” even when they take simple counseling and most likely these people are treated not like patients but like “mad people” and rejected further as if they have committed any kind of crime.

The reasons may be huge for committing an act of suicide but the each issue concludes only with one thought and that is that the sense of feeling of rejection from those whom one actually loves most and cares most and finally, leading to despair and gloom of hopelessness leading to this act.

Prevention:

There could be several alarms raised by these people in the past like “No one actually loves me or cares for me” or “ I better die than live for these people” and so on. So first we have to understand these signals which are little different from the usual one’s. Any loss of sleep or other kind of emotional disturbances must be carefully checked. And as soon as you get the primary signals of these in your significant others please contact your nearest professional without hesitation. Also, notice his or her facial expressions like having tears in eyes, if not exactly tears then at least eyes appearing wet or avoiding eye contact or avoiding conversations etc. Also, if you suspect such thing avoid the easy reach to that individual of toxic substances or sharp objects and other such things which you could see in his surroundings, which may cause such harm to life.

Gently, try to listen to their needs, their basic way of expression and moreover the understanding and try to maintain that trust that he or she would never be ignored. Also, try to respect his individuality and then you could prevent the masses to save this disturbance. Please be vigilant of this behavior as suicide may be just an attempt to take the revenge from his or her most loved one or most significant person in life.


People who are thinking of committing Suicide:

For people who have such thoughts in your mind I would recommend wait patiently-this is just a spur of the moment impulse and if you cannot resist it try to talk to someone whom you could confide and seek the help in some nearest hospital for some kind of emergency treatment. May be the practitioner on duty may help you calm down in many ways like medications and counseling but please do not loose hope. But please do not give it to this “impulsive” thought of yours to irrational act of taking the most precious gift of nature- your life. Please think over it, try to distract yourself for some better options or alternatives to live. Just try to “destroy” the thought of your “destruction” yourself and take up the challenge and prove to the world that “even I can beat the world alone…if nobody stands for me…for if I approach towards my life then I must have a good cause to live…and I would do wonders in life if I just thinking little positive…” Once you start approaching your life this way then many hands would join for your help itself. If you are feeling little problem on your own take some kind of professional help. There is no harm in taking any help for such matters. It is a kind of problem and seeking counseling, suggestions or advice from a qualified and trained would never harm you rather you would emerge out to be a much better person.

For Professionals and Clinical Practioner:

For practitioners, I would recommend you to be more vigilant in approach maintaining the positivity in your patient and allow them to vent out their feelings and catch some signs of such alarms to prevent it like explaining the caregivers – how to prevent it and so on.

Finally, there is a request to all professionals, social workers or any kind of volunteers to think of resolving the emergencies in your own local residential areas for charity begins at home. May be we could make the general practitioners aware of these kind of techniques so that they could help such individuals without any hassle of being rejected by the masses for being “mad” .

Also, my dream is to form an emergency line for such cases with trained professionals who could pick such emergency calls even at the middle of the night. May be I am expecting too much but some day- my dream would definitely come true. May be even general practitioners and local hospitals could keep some emergency lines or other services by training even some their nursing staffs even for that purpose.


I request you all who go through this article to give some ideas or suggestions for the prevention of this gloomy impulse and let us join hands together to prevent the most precious gift of nature that is our own human life.

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• SUICIDE
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